Thankful for sticking a needle in my eye?

26 08 2008

I suppose it could be worse, according to the the pledge “cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye,” I received the lesser of the three, but still… I mean come on, who really keeps up with these promises.  Apparently someone and they are serious about it. They were most likely a hall monitor during his or her youth and this was just part of the natural progression, this or become an IRS agent, or maybe he or she is just into S&M.  Anyway whoever is keeping tally, I hope your happy now and for the record I received no joy in this.  By the way if you know who I broke the promise to some umpteen years ago when I made the pledge, let me know.  If it was about that girl I met and hooked up with at the beach that you wouldn’t know when i was 13, don’t you think this is a little severe?  

Woke up early to get to Emory on time in the middle of the biggest storm we have had in years. I wish I could say the hospital was located on a hill, all by itself and lightening was striking all around, so I knew just what an ominous day it would be, but no, it was just another boring building getting rained on.  I was feeling pretty good about the day, and how the checkup would turn out, but I was a little off with my gut feeling this morning.  So much for using gut instinct anymore.  

I arrived just in time for my 8:50 appointment thanks to Corinne dropping me off out front while she parked. Being on time is apparently not a huge priority for the hospital as I was not called back to see anyone until 9:45.  The first person I saw today was not a Doctor, but did the normal preliminary tests with me, and dilated just my left eye today. They have all sorts of odd looking Dr. Who devices around the place and absolutely no color.  Very stark settings. But when they use the devices to test things out, all ideas about the decor or lack there going flying out, (I’d say window, but they do not have any.) They look like some strange torture devices  but as it turns out they are all pretty benign.

After the initial test Rinne and I were sent out to the waiting area.  This is the worst time in the waiting area.  Your eyes take a little while to fully dilate, but in the mean time you can not  read because your pupils are becoming the size of quarters, not allowing you to focus on any words. You are left sitting there with no magazines with pictures, or books with pictures, just words, and you can not read a one of them. This is cruel, apparently the guy who keeps cross my heart oath is doing a little overtime in the waiting room. 

Eventually we are called back to the room where I get to see the Dr.  For the first time she is the first one through the door, not her intern.  I am stoked to see her.  She is the happiest Dr. I have ever had to deal with in a professional setting. Not only is she friendly, she actually takes the time to explain to me what is happening.  

What’s happening?  Well, the conservative approach to bring back my vision has failed.  I seem to have an edmea, or a pocket of fluid that is causing me to not see so great currently.  So in her words “to expedite the seeing process,”

This sounds good doesn’t it…. but wait for it….

“we are going to stick a needle in your eye.”  


How sticking a sharp needle or for that matter anything in my eye, will “expedite the seeing process” is beyond me, but she somehow convinces me, and gives me the option to do it now or come back in a few days.

Let’s get this over with, I can not begin to imagine having to be anxious about this for several days.  We go over the side effects, glaucoma, infection, retinal detachment… uhhhhh retinal detachment, you mean when my eye falls apart?  

Yeah, that’s the one, but it only happens in less than 1% of the patients.  

Pretty good odds, but seeing how Eale’s disease affects way less than 1% of the general population, I’m not a big fan of this one in a million thing any more.  If someone says you are one in a milliion, with the current population count, that means roughly there are 6.8 million people just like you.  I sure feel special though.

After dropping the needle bomb and seeming way to happy that I’m ok with her sticking a needle in my eye for a shot of steroids she is off to call my insurance company to see if its ok.  I am pleading on the inside that my insurance company has a personal vendetta and will deny the claim, but the oath guy has strong ties everywhere.  The doctor returns with a nurse, and they begin the process.  

Dr. Yan asks if I would like for her to explain each step of the process,

“Absolutely not, but thank you.”

I receive some numbing drops, and the the equivalent of a shot of lidocaine in my eye, before the big shot. The nurse asks me to focus on her why the doctor slips around me and out of my field of vision.  She asks me to keep my eyes on her, which I do.  I have not been this focused on anything in a while.  She has me adjust my eyes back to the middles, and thats when it happens… the needle goes in!@$^&^&

I think I can get used to breaking promises if they stick needles in your eye like this each time.  It was suprisingly not painful, mildly irritating, but not painful.  The anticipation was much worse, but overall the procedure was fast & simple. Now it is just a waiting game for my vision to become of superhero proportions.   This is how I see as of right now…minus the scene in the background. The whole world looks like an evil sno-globe that has been violently shaken, well at least in my left eye.